The Fine Art of Fingering — Level 1: Foundations of Responsible Fingering

Foundations of Responsible Fingering. Thirty-two lessons on the single most misunderstood gesture in human communication. You will learn preparation, recipient selection, pacing, thumb discipline, eye contact, the slow reveal, stamina, distance work, workplace restraint, affectionate delivery, accident recovery, aftercare, and — above all — judgment.

Graduates sit the Level 1 Final Examination and, upon passing, are entitled to the designation CPF — Certified Professional Fingerer, accredited by the C.O.C.K.

You came here to learn how to finger. You will leave knowing when.

Throughout this course, “fingering” refers exclusively to displaying the middle-finger hand gesture between consenting adults in an appropriate, playful context. This course is a comedy. Its safety guidance, however, is entirely sincere.